We are never far from our 20 year old selves, Deena thought. She stood at the edge of a bar. She was forty-one and the simple act of standing at the edge of a bar was all it took to find her 20 year old self. Why wasn’t anyone talking to her? Should she break in? Is that rude? Where should she put her bag? On the stool? Did she sit or stand? She could stand but she’d worked on her feet all day at the plant and they already ached from all the standing that had been done. But if she sat, her thighs would spread like a dropped bean bag chair. Was she going to strike up a conversation with someone too young to know what a bean bag chair was? Her 20 year old self caught Deena’s eye in the mirror behind the bar.
Deena sipped her drink and decided to stand. She chatted with Beth, her coworker who had long dark hair and was closer to the 20 year old version of Deena, who hated this scene then and even more so now that she was forty-one and the resounding word in her life had become “settle.” Her body settled. Her heart. It was the word that chased after her when she told people at work that she was unattached; unspoken but there in Beth’s eyes. “Shouldn’t you just settle now? For anything?” Beth who was so beautiful that the equally beautiful bartender stumbled in his haste to get her drink order. Or maybe Deena was just imagining that happened. Her 20 year old self, she thought, could not be trusted on such matters. She was forty-one and had learned that much.
Why don’t bartenders have an emergency stash of brownie cupcakes behind the bar? Isn’t that something we can make happen? Guys? You’ve got all those fancy cocktails with your rose hip syrups and your locally distilled gin and that dashing suspender/handlebar mustache combo- is it really such a stretch to keep a plate of warm-out-of-the-oven brownie cupcakes just behind the bar? So that when you see a person has had a really long day (week/month/how is it May already?) and they’re frowning over the menu that you really, truly made so much more complicated than it needs to be (if you know the majority of the drinking/eating population has no idea what the hell “eggplant-raisin agrodolce” is, can you at least describe how it tastes on the menu? So I’m not sitting there squinting at it, trying to guess the origins of the word like I’m in some restaurant spelling bee instead of putting delicious noodles into my face?) you can put a manicured hand on the bar, wait until that woman’s glassy, too-long-staring-at-the-screen eyes meet yours and utter the words, “do you want a mini brownie cupcake? Will that help?”
Yes. Yes, I believe it would. And even flourless and dairy-less, to boot, it’s just the thing you need. At least we can make them at home, at the end of that long day/week/month. At least we can do that.
Flourless Brownie Cupcakes
6 Tablespoons of coconut oil
7 Ounces of semisweet chocolate chips
2/3 Cup of coconut (or granulated) sugar
2 1/4 Teaspoon of vanilla extract
1/4 Cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
3 Tablespoons of arrowroot powder (or cornstarch)
A dash of salt
1. Preheat oven to 350°F and prepare your cupcake tin with liners.
2. Over low heat, combine coconut oil and semisweet chocolate chips until melted. Remove from heat and set aside.
3. Combine the eggs, vanilla and sugar for 3 minutes with a handheld or stand mixer.
4. Add the melted chocolate and coconut oil and mix.
5. Add cocoa powder, arrowroot and salt. Mix until batter is smooth.
6. Scoop batter into cupcake liners, about halfway. Bake for 20-25 minutes, depending on your cupcake size. Remove from oven and let sit in the warm pan for a few more minutes and then enjoy!
*I wrap these up and popped them in the freezer. Makes for a great emergency dessert. – J