She spotted it from across the table. It sat, like all the other holiday offerings, on a plastic tray. It was almost fantastically bright there, sitting among a cluster of pale hamburger buns and right beside the pale yellow of Sally’s famous potato salad.
She’d seen it before, in the supermarket. Not the fancy supermarket but the one closest to her apartment, the one that smelled like old soup. She’d circled it, of course. It was too adorable not to; a cake shaped like a hamburger. Like a hamburger.
She couldn’t buy it, of course. There wasn’t an occasion for such a purchase, an excuse. To buy it for herself would be wrong, it would be so… sad. Her and her giant hamburger cake. Together. Alone, in her house. Staring each other down over the counter. Only one could survive.
But now, now! Someone had brought it! To the picnic! To the very picnic where she was. She gazed over with fondess at the cake and at the people who had brought, brought it to her. Finally. Yes. It would be hers.
Based on a true story.
You guys, do you know how long I have waited for this day? FOR THE HAMBURGER CUPCAKES? Look at them! Wants to pinch them! Make these immediately. Right now. Right this second. Bring them to your Labor Day festivities. And watch as you become the most popular person in the history of the world.
1 Box of Vanilla Cake Mix
1 Box of Devil’s Food Cake Mix
2 Cans of Vanilla Frosting
Liquid food coloring
6 Large eggs
Note: If you’re in a hurry, you can purchase the red and yellow pre-colored icing in a tube. The red icing uses a lot of food coloring so consider using a gel instead.
Note: Beware of heavily colored icing, it can stain!
1. Bake vanilla cupcakes according to directions on box. DO NOT use cupcake liners, but grease and flour the pan so they easily pop out.
2. Bake chocolate cupcakes according to directions on box (either use 2 cupcake trays or thoroughly clean between vanilla & chocolate batches). Again, DO NOT use cupcake liners.
3. When vanilla cupcakes are cool, cut them in half horizontal-wise with a serrated knife to create the “bun.”
4. When chocolate cupcakes are cool, cut them in half horizontal-wise and save the cupcake top as the “meat.” You can discard the bottoms. (Or eat them, hello.)
5. Use ample amounts of food coloring to mix a batch of red icing (“ketchup”) and another batch of yellow icing (“mustard”).
6. Pour some of the coconut in a bowl and pour a few drops of green food coloring in it. Stir with a fork until the coconut is light green in color like “lettuce”.
7. Lightly dampen burger “lids” with water and sprinkle with sesame seeds so they stick a little.
8. To create the burger layers…put red icing on the bottom bun, then add the “meat,” then add the yellow icing, then sprinkle the lettuce on top, then add the lid.
9. Finish by using a cocktail toothpick to keep it all together!