“Oh, you’re just so cute.” She laughed. “Did you hear me?”
Jimmy tried to smile but instead found himself looking over his shoulder nervously. This girl was loud. “I said,” she said even louder now and, what’s worse, leaned back on the chair and kicked her legs up like a deranged character from Saturday Night Live, “you are KEEE-YUTE!”
“And you are maybe done with that drink, I think.” He reached out to take the martini glass from her and she pulled it back, laughing. “Oh, ok. Maybe not.”
“I am having such a good time.” Her name was Tara and she was a redhead. According to her online profile, she was ‘addicted to Parcheesi and olives.’ Jimmy had been intrigued, especially since he was pretty sure no one even played Parcheesi anymore.
And now, watching her suck back another dry martini, he was pretty sure he’d discovered the source of her affection for olives. She tipped the glass so far back that she fell off the chair completely.
The club was loud but not loud enough that roughly one hundred people didn’t turn around in time to see Jimmy’s date fly off her chair and hit the floor and her skirt shoot over her head.They stared at her, eyebrows up, and stared at him too.
“Whoopsie!” Tara yelled from the ground. “Who keeps moving everything?” Her voice was muffled from where her face had met the floor.
Jimmy sighed and helped heft her up, along with one of the club’s bouncers who patted him on the shoulder. His name was Carl. “You all right, man?”
Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”
Carl shook his head. “Man, you just have the worst luck with women, don’t you?”
“JI-MMY. My lil’ corn cuffin. Go get me another drinkie, ‘kay?”
One of the things I like most about working with Nicole is that she brings me recipes like this.
First of all, if there is an able-bodied (meaning, not allergic to gluten or something) human being who is able to resist a warm, buttery biscuit when offered, please, show yourself as I would so like to shake your hand and also call you a giant liar to your face.
I have a tendency to be, how can I say this delicately, a pain-in-the-ass about food. Nowhere has this become more apparent than here my parents’ house where nine times out of ten, I find myself saying something so pretentious about food that later I wish it was possible to smack myself in the face with my foot (something I’m sure Madonna can do, incidentally). Things like, “Oh. Is this processed?”
Seriously. Someone please smack me with their foot.
Because the truth is, all I really want is for food to be as I think it was meant to be- passed around and enjoyed, shared.
That’s all. Leave your politics, your hang-ups, your secret criticisms, your notions about what other people should do and eat, at the door. That’s why I like doing this blog with Nicole- because she seriously just cares about making things that taste good and look pretty in pictures.
Corn Studded Biscuits
Adapted from Cooks.com
2 1/4 cup of Bisquick mix
2/3 cup of milk
3/4 cup of cheddar cheese
3/4 cup of sweet corn kernels
3-4 Tbsp. melted butter
salt & pepper
Preheat oven to 450°F.
Mix all of the biscuit ingredients together (not too much or they’ll get tough) and drop big spoonfuls onto a lightly greased baking sheet.
Bake for 8-10 min. While biscuits are cooking, melt butter and add garlic powder, salt & pepper. Brush or drizzle melted butter on top of biscuits as soon as they come out of the oven. Don’t resist them. Just don’t.